Life is but a dream

I woke this morning to my husband shaving in the next room. Divided only by a sheer blue tapestry of a Celtic design. I listened for the giggles, whispers, shouts or whines of our children but silence from the rest of our house was all that meant my searching ears. So back to sleep I fell.

I have always found amazing that powerful few moments of slumber that comes after a nights long sleep but just before total dawn. Perhaps the moment is just a flutter of minutes or the caress of a whole hour it is still a deep, restful and (in this case) insightful sleep.

The dream is fuzzy after a full day of activities but the message is still clear. All I needed to do was ask. Am I lost? Is it too late? Am I too old? These are the questions, among others, that I have been asking myself lately. One may call it a midlife crisis. But as my husband put it, "I expect you to be around a lot longer than the age of 72.". Whatever the reason(s). I am stalled on the road of life and I find myself looking under the hood and realizing that I have replaced a lot of the good old individual parts with highly manufactured, mass produced, carbon copies of what society calls "NORMAL". And I am sickened by it. Where has all the ME gone to? I was strong in my beliefs, my convictions, my lifestyle, my spirituality. And somewhere along the road of marriage, motherhood and housewife I became one of THEM. At age 36 (the last time you will see this in print) is it too late to get it all back?

Which brings me to the reason of starting this BLOG. I used to write all the time. Poems. Stories. Diary passages. There was not a moment in all my life that I did not write about. But I haven't written anything in about a decade now. So I figured that if I was lost and wanted to be found again, that writing was the best place to start. It has been a months long thought process. Decisions are never made quickly in the mind of a Scorpio, although it may seem like it to the outside world. I worried and fretted and thought until finally giving in and letting go. Where is the harm right? Obviously none.

For just the morning after I started this new path I got my answer in a beautiful dream with the help of a few good friends during a picnic in a park. This is where the Orisa's chose to be seen. In my comfort zone. It is here where I was told that I was never alone. All I had to do was open my eyes and my heart once again and my true path would not only be there but be there with open arms and warm hearts to guide my way once again.

This is my journey. This is my life.