Sunday, May 18, 2008

Hind sight is 20/20

It's a full moon and my youngest daughter is begging to do a ritual for it. But enough about that. On with the real reason I a writing today.

I have been trying to figure it all out. Looking back, trying to retrace my steps, remembering dates, remembering dreams, putting two and two together, trying to figure out how to escape from it, to get over it, get on with it. Which is why this has taken so long for me to write. So, it starts here:

Once upon a New Moon...........or...........I had a dream..............or............WARNING never post a comment on someones Blog..............or............forced out of the BLOG closet.........or...........careful, someone is always pointing a camera when your not looking. You pick. They all tie in together. Not necessarily in that order.

Actually, it starts something like this:

I had a dream. In this dream there were three wolves. I killed one. There was more to it but for now me killing the one wolf is most important. By hand. I strangled it. I wasn't scared and the other wolves did nothing. None of them were scared either. At the time I knew it was prophetic. I just didn't know how or why. And this is what I found in my dream meaning search (which came much much too late).........

"To dream that you kill a wolf, indicates betrayal and secrets revealed."

Then came the photo shoot of the century. A friend snapped this shot of me and posted it on her Blog (without me knowing of course). So when I went to read her latest update, imagine to my surprise to see ME as the main topic. ME! Well, I don't normally leave comments. I am a peeping tom kinda gal but I had to say something just to save my reputation. So I did. Not realizing there was a hidden link.

Not until my other friend explained to me that she found my Wandering something or other Blog. How? By clicking on the link that went with my comment on the other Blog. I was shocked. My secret Blog revealed to the world. OK OK so Blogs aren't exactly where you keep "secrets". But since I started this Blog I wasn't ready to have my friends read it. Not yet. Maybe not ever. And here, all of a sudden I was pushed out of the closet.

The Blog closet. My Blog closet. The one that I was very comfortable in. Thank you very much. It had a small candle flame to light my writings. A cushy chair to sit and meditate upon. A small window opening to the rest of the world. A window I was not ready to open any wider. But all things change. Just like this Blog has changed over time. Some change is done from the inside and some from the outside. And this outside change came as a shock. I thought I was not ready for this.

Or was I? I could have rushed home and quickly put this on private. I did think about it. I even reread all my posts. And came to realize that if my friends are interested in reading all about the Witch in me, so be it. All things happen for a reason, right? The universe works in mysterious ways. Blah. Blah. Blah.

And I did have my fare warning after all. It is my own fault for not following through, figuring it out and being prepared.

All this in the span of a New Moon. New beginnings. Since I have started this Blog I have realized that the cycle of the Moon and the High Holidays are always weaving their Magick. No matter if we stick to the rituals or not.

All this over one dead wolf. Funny thing is, I have two left. Wonder what secrets are locked away inside them.