The Good, the Bad and the Real F*cking Ugly

The never ending search for a healthier me has continued, even though there has not been much said of it. The last post caught me off guard. I did not realize how heavy the feelings were on the whole topic. Writing it all down brings out of the closet some real ugly monsters. The monsters that taunt me from their nooks and crannies in the dark. Always reminding me.................

I want, in the worst kind of way, to delete the post. Delete the past. But since that button does not exist in this world I can not allow it to exist in the written world either. After all, this is all about me no longer running away. But facing it all. Even if it is one small step at a time.

Let's start off by being honest. I never did go back to the allergist. I know that I am allergic to everything that grows in AZ. That was confirmed many many years ago with the first set of tests. I also already know that my lungs are trashed. So why do I need another x-ray to confirm this? I also know that my gut is falling apart as well. So why do I feel that I need more of the same tests? I don't. So I stopped. Until recently.

I finally broke myself down and went to a NMD. "Broke down" because I knew that this would be the final admittance step. There is no turning around on this one way street. This final decision would lead me to the ultimate answers. Answers that would change my life forever. Ready or not. There I went.

He took a blood sample and had it analyzed for food allergens. The bad part is that it only revealed what I already knew but wanted to avoid in the most horrible way. The real f*cking ugly part is that I am allergic to wheat and yeast.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Along with a few other food items that I only need to avoid for the next six month. They do not matter all that much to me. Not nearly as much as my breads and muffins and cakes and pitas and breads and tortillas and gravies and breads and scones and bread and bread and bread..........for the next year to the REST OF MY LIFE.

So on this New Moon I start a new way of life eliminating this horribly yummy killer. What a way to celebrate a New Moon! Oh, I can think of so many other ways to celebrate it right now.

I am on day two of NO BREAD and really, truly, honestly I am STARVING! Because, really, what else is their to eat?

And to end this on a positive note, which is always the best way to end things, I did find out that their is one other thing I covet that I am not allergic to. Thank the Gods above.

I can still have coffee. MMMMMMMMMMMMM COFFEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!